Two weeks ago, when I was intensely discussing end-to-end Intelligent Automation capabilities on a call, I was suddenly caught off-guard by my 8-year-old asking to urgently dismantle a Lego structure. It was a video call, and to ensure minimal disruption, I continued talking and providing my POV while simultaneously cautiously removing tightly coupled thin Lego strips. I will admit - It was not easy, rather a bit distracting. However, as I look back, most importantly it was empowering that we human beings are more capable of multi-tasking and adapting to new situations than we think we really are.
When Covid19 had just started and had not become a pandemic yet, most of us thought of working and schooling from home as a temporary setup. It was more like a short break from the normal (normal as defined until Jan 2020). Then suddenly by mid-March the numbers started to climb globally, and governments across the world stepped up mandates to migrate work and school to home-based, as the outbreak was upgraded to a pandemic.
Reality slowly started to sink in, and we knew this is here to stay. The first emotion was anxiety - thinking about how to maintain continuity and productivity [and sanity] with a constant side inflow of grim global numbers and news of battle for survival. Eventually it transitioned into an acceptance phase, where you would tell yourself that “look it is what it is – how do I navigate from here? What action items should I plan?”.
At this point it was needed that we take a pause, do some serious retrospection, clear the methodologies that worked, and restart & re-engineer from scratch - how we spend family time, how we work, how we self-learn, how we educate the kids, how we manage health and fitness, how we maintain connection with family, friends and colleagues, and how we manage daily cooking and overall routine - all of this needed to be thought and worked from a totally fresh perspective. Once we move beyond the ad-hoc mindset and truly try to adapt to the new normal, we do discover ways to be happy and successful. Plus, we didn’t really have an option here - so you either try, or cry [then try].
So, what did I do? First, I took a deep breath. I did not think of myself as the larger than life Super(wo)man who can fly between things effortlessly and look dashing at the same time. I rather thought of myself as the ant – who knew that she has her limitations, who looked at things one day at a time, and who was aware that of the three steps she takes forward, there may be two offsetting steps of fall.
I segregated weekdays from weekends. I knew that with two elementary school-aged kids, I had to make weekdays more automated and predictable, while the opposite for weekends – more creative and exciting. The weekdays needed to run on autopilot and I heavily made use of technology for this – I record all weekly meal planning and routine on excel and even the most insignificant meeting on Google Calendar. I ensured that my household followed a daily timetable just like when we were going to school / work as usual. Every task is made rule based and time bound – right from the time to wake up, to time allocation for each activity – work related or personal, to meals times, exercise time, reading time and sleep time. Netflix time for adults and screen time for kids is fixed and strictly adhered to, and rules can only be relaxed on weekends.
I also arranged my younger kid’s desk next to mine and we work hand-in-hand. This was done to streamline BAU operations like printing worksheets, finding stationery etc. I isolate myself only for critical external calls where I am presenting. This arrangement led to some great observations. I can now make a Habitat and Food Web of at least 5 animals. My 8-year-old on the other hand, when asked to write “5 things your Mom is awesome at” for Mother’s Day, wrote the first point as “She is awesome at making Digital Robots”.
When it came to weekends, I knew I had to put the creativity hat on. Particularly for my 10-year old who would not get enough of my attention during weekdays as he would operate pretty much independently for schoolwork. We are a family that loves to eat and try different cuisines. Every weekend we would pick a country and do theme-based cooking. Our favorite has been Japanese with some awesome Poke Bowls, Maki Rolls and Chicken/Salmon Teriyaki Onigiri. We have tried pretty much everything Asian from Thai to Vietnamese to Korean to Sri-Lankan to Burmese. We have also started to bake most of our breads at home – even artisanal ones like cinnamon raisin rye loaf, soft butter buns and olive & herbs focaccia. It has turned out to be a very engaging activity that we will dearly miss after we return to old ways. Moreover, cooking at home gave us a chance to be mindful of using healthy ingredients – which can have a lifestyle impact. Imagine food with no MSG, only good oils, not over-fried and made with fiber-rich flour and natural yeast – all of this leaves a light (and guilt-free) after-taste, which you may not necessarily feel when eating out.
We have also heavily invested into board games and play at least 3-4 games every weekend. It is a great way to bond with family while having fun – lots of laughter, lots of cheer, and some tears (when winners are announced). Additional bonus is that your brain is put to good work strategizing your next move, how to make short term points while keeping long term win in perspective. I am putting down some board games recommendations at the end of this article in case you are interested.
Keeping planning to one side, let me put this disclaimer – however granular-level you plan, no two days are the same. Some days end up in a total disaster when nothing seems right, and you are totally frustrated & grumpy. And then there are other days, when you feel all charged up, ultra-positive and couldn’t count your blessings enough. It is a true roller coaster with highs & lows of emotions and mental strength. Therefore, it is extremely important that in the middle of all the planning (or over-planning for some like me), make sure that you take out time for yourself. Again, I would say, do not start with a very ambitious goal. Just allocate 20-30-40 minutes daily to yourself – it could be anything – exercise, music, art, any hobby or work-related upskilling – anything that excites your mind and makes your soul happy. For me, I like to wake up 30 mins earlier than everyone else in the house, make my lemongrass masala chai and sip on it quietly thinking about the day ahead with no screens near me (yet). This is my quiet before the mad-rush storm hits head-on. Also, at day-end I try going out for a 30-min biking or a brisk walk. Luckily here in Singapore you can go out to exercise albeit with your masks on and not in groups. There is no substitute for fresh air, so if you can do go out even for a short walk.
As I look back at the many weeks of working and schooling from home, I see a lot of learnings that came along this journey. Firstly, humans as adaptable beings – our biggest survival instinct lies in our ability and agility to adapt – so never downplay your strength to manage a situation. Second - after unconditional love, routine is the second most powerful thing humans best respond to. The power of planning, routine and discipline can never be underestimated. Third – self-care is most important, even before you want to get up and serve others. Being in a positive state of mind and health will help not only for your own well-being, but also those around you. Fourth – remember that we are all in this together, and there would be many other women and men trying to juggle work and schooling from home while taking care of other family members, chores, logistics etc. They could be facing similar challenges or even bigger ones. Keeping a kind, empathetic and non-judgmental attitude towards others is the least we can do in times like these.
Finally, the most important learning as I close - is to remember checking in on your loved ones, family, friends, colleagues and expressing verbally about being there for them. However advanced technology may get, there is no replacement for the emotional connect. Just a simple “Hi”, “Hope you are doing ok”, “Just wanted to check on you” or “Your help was deeply appreciated” can make someone feel great when there is otherwise a lack of face-to-face interaction.
Game Recommendations:
Board games: Catan, Scrabble, Blokus, Ticket to Ride (US, Europe & Asia editions), Splendor, Pandemic, Monopoly, Othello, Forbidden Island, King of Tokyo, Azul, Qwirkle, Cluedo
Card games: Codenames, Saboteur, Sushi Go, Sleeping Queens, Exploding Kittens, Organ Attack, Loot, Taboo, Dixit, 6Nimmt
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